NFNS Week 8 (a/k/a the Worst Episode Ever)

Shoot me in the face. We're down to three contestants remaining in Week 8 and it's time for them to put up or shut up. Going in, my ranking was Lisa, Adam, then Aaron. Coming out, it's still the same since the judges didn't have the balls to kick anyone (Aaron!) off.

The first challenge faced by the contestants is to film a 30-second commercial spot, in motion and interacting with other people or objects. Lisa had the coolest role and was filmed playing the part of a wine angel ascending the Aureole's 4-story wine tower. Adam was the one who stole the show in this challenge though, performing on a show stage with a couple of showgirls.

On to the main challenge, the three of them have to cook for and present to a bunch of Vegas types - showgirls, cast members, a few drag queens and some chefs from the Wynn Hotel. Long story short, Lisa's presentation was amazing and the food was pretty average, which wasn't great for her. Adam's presentation was so-so, though Susie called it "boring" but his food ("Adam's Las Vegas Smoketacular") was the best overall - his smoked pork chops were chosen as the best dish. Finally Aaron. Poor, pathetic Aaron. I don't even know what to say about his presentation - fake crying, eating disorder, forks in his pocket...lame, lame and more lame. Plus, his food apparently sucked - the best thing he made was crab cakes and it's really not that difficult to make good crab cakes.

So, we get to the final judging phase (you know, where Aaron should have been kicked off?) and the judges can't screw up the courage to put him out of his misery. It's getting painful to watch him - he's a fine enough cook, but a thick tongue does not a good TV star make. If, by a horrible stroke of luck, he wins the competition, I really hope they get that man into speech therapy. In the end, the judges were the ones who lost this week's battle.

NFNS Week 7

Here we are in Week 7 and we have Lisa, Kelsey, Aaron and Adam left. This week, they are flown out to Las Vegas to stay in the fabulous Caesars Palace and, yes, I did see Kelsey and Lisa jumping on the bed in their sweet suite.

Paula Deen is the guest judge for this episode and the contestants start the week with a sit-down dinner with Paula and Bobby Flay to talk about their strengths and weaknesses and what the judges really need to see out of them in the Week 7 challenge. The challenge itself is quite interesting - the contestants are pitted against each other Bobby Flay "Throwdown" style on their signature dishes: Lisa and her cassoulet, Adam's lobster mac 'n cheese, Kelsey's chicken parmesan and Aaron's pork loin with apple.

First is Lisa vs. Adam. Adam hit a home run with his lobster mac'n cheese, even with Ms. Paula who said she'd never liked the dish before. I can't say, though, that gourmet mac 'n cheese is something made for the Food Network. Lisa's attempt was a flop. How can you screw up something as simple as mac 'n cheese? Paula even said she "hated it." Winner of battle mac 'n cheese: Adam.

Likewise, Lisa hit a home run with her duck confit cassoulet - it may have even been a grand slam. Tusch called it a "truly masterful dish." Paula said it was "truly wonderful" and Bobby said it was probably the best cassoulet he'd ever had. Adam only managed a "beginner" stamp for his attempt at the dish. Winner of battle cassoulet: Lisa.

Next up is Kelsey's chicken parmesan vs. Aaron's pork loin with apple glaze. Kelsey had a tough go with the judges. They had a problem with the deconstruction of the dish because the chicken and sauce didn't come together. Paula hit Kelsey on the petite-ness of the dish and gave Aaron good marks for the heartiness of his dish and his adherence to the status of chicken parmesan as a familiar comfort food.

On to Aaron's pork dish, which isn't as much a signature dish as it is a cut of meat that can be done in any number of ways. Aaron came out fine and the judges liked the way his sweet and spicy glaze worked with the pork. Kelsey got hit again by Paula for the small portion size but not didn't get much feedback.

An important side note here: You have to know when you've got Paula Deen as your judge that she's not going to be impressed by pretty little dishes. The woman who stuck her tongue under a chocolate fountain wants a pile of food on her plate so you better give it to her! Paula in her own words: Mmmm, Southern Cooking is like a long walk in the meadow, you just can never seem to fill up enough on it.

After all this we get to the judging. The judges are still concerned with Lisa's intensity when she's trying to cook in front of the camera. The judges found Adam uncharacteristically cold during his presentation. They didn't have much bad to say with Aaron except to point out his obvious lack of knowledge about ingredients, but please please get that boy some speech therapy!

I predicted, not too long ago, that this season would come down to a battle of youth - Shane vs. Kelsey. I was way off base because Shane was eliminated in Week 6 and Kelsey in Week 7. In the end, the judges must have though Kelsey lacked the real life experience they wanted in their Next Food Network Star. I have to go back to a point I made earlier in the season - the judges obviously put personality over skill in the kitchen. Adam has some kind of hold on the judges because he has been at the bottom of the barrel as far as knowledge and skill for a while now.

So we say goodbye to Kelsey this week, but surely not forever. She's young and already has a great deal of skill. Once she gains some real life experience, we'll doubtless see her back on the Food Network in some capacity.

Lisa Garza, Drama Queen Extraordinaire

So this is the image of Lisa Garza that we have become accustomed to every week on Next Food Network Star. Ms. Glamour Girl and drama queen. I saw a bit of normality the week she fell in her high heels and splashed sauce all over herself (Found at 1:55 - 2:00 in the Season 4 Recap Vid). Before and after that incident, she's really not shown much of herself, certainly not a person the Food Network viewers can relate to. She's still one of my favorites, but she's got to make some changes if she wants to keep moving on in the competition.

After her big shut down in Week 6, she emailed The Food Network Addict blog to complain about being "censored" and overall unfair treatment. While the segment shown on NFNS may not have told the entire story, NFNS is aired to a national audience to get viewers and sell advertising time. Lisa is a successful restaurateur, see her restaurant Suze in Dallas, but if she doesn't loosen up a bit, she's going to lose her chance at her own Food Network show. Who knows, maybe she just needs to get laid but seriously, loosen up a bit! Maybe if she changed out of the thousand dollar duds and put on something that looked more Main Street cafe than Paris runway? Something like this, perhaps (no idea where the pic came from, just found it on a GIS):

NFNS Week 5

The mini-challenge at the beginning of Week 5 really set some of these guys and gals apart. The contestants had 30 minutes to prepare an original dish using a basketful of ingredients preselected for them. At the end of that time, Cat Cora paired them up and made each person switch dishes. Each contestant then had 90 seconds to taste and describe the other dish in front of the camera (with Cat Cora watching!). Aaron, who I put in second place last week really dropped the ball because of his unease in front of the camera. Shane did a great job describing Kelsey's dish and he came out on top in Cat Cora's eyes.

For the main challenge this week, the contestants were paired up and given 45 minutes to re-create complicated, time-consuming dishes. Shane chose Beef Wellington for himself and Kelsey, Lisa and Jennifer got Turducken and Adam and Aaron got Coq au Vin. In the end, Shane and Kelsey came out on top and their main and side dishes will be featured in Bon Appetit magazine next month!

On to the elimination. I hate being right sometimes. Jenn was at the bottom of my list last week and she was eliminated this week. She was a very nice person, but she just never looked comfortable in front of the camera, in front of her audiences or in front of the judges. And what the hell was she doing banging a glass bottle against the range anyway? It ended up shattering (duh!) ruining her side dish and the duck confit Lisa was warming up to use in their main dish.

I'm going to take a new approach to the countdown this week. I don't think last week's took into account each person's ability to perform in front of the camera. Granted, cooking ability is very very important, but personality and performance on camera is what really makes a Food Network star. With that in mind, here's my Top 5 after Week 5:

5. Adam
Adam was definitely put on notice this week. Jennifer had more culinary skill but the judges decided that they wanted somebody who could play up to the camera. Bob Tuschman made it perfectly clear. During the elimination time, he told Adam: I think you know that you are still here solely on the basis of your personality. I really think his total lack of cooking skills is going to send him home next week.

4. Aaron
Last week I had Aaron as my #2 man. His stock plummeted this week after a horrible performance in the first challenge. His cooking skill and confidence in his abilities are there, but his knowledge of ingredients is sorely lacking. In the first challenge, he used fully 2/3 of his time before he started describing Adam's dish. Another problem Aaron has is that he is sometimes hard to understand when he's talking. His voice just isn't very clear and that hurts his presentation skills.

T2. Shane
Shane really pulled it together this week. He did a great job in the first challenge showing off a mastery of the ingredients and the ability to clearly and vividly describe a dish he'd never even seen before to the camera. He and Kelsey showed great teamwork in the second challenge. As the youngest contestant, he's done surprisingly well. I think a lot of his confidence comes from the fact that he has the skills and is able to rely on the fundamentals in the heat of battle.


T2. Lisa
I dropped Lisa out of first this week, but she still has a chance to get back to the top spot. I think she has the best overall skill of all of the contestants but she still needs to work on her personality. I thought she would finally open up after last week's spill but she was still a bit clammed up this week. She was by no means the alpha female she was in the first couple of weeks, but she just didn't show the warmth that needs to come out.

1. Kelsey
Ok, I can admit I'm wrong sometimes. Kelsey still has a bit of the annoying perkiness she exhibited the first few weeks but she has really reined it in. She's won a couple of challenges the last two weeks and that has given her a lot of confidence, not that she was really lacking it to begin with. By reining in her emotions she comes across as a lot more genuine and warm than before.